Work Daze

Welcome back, congregants. Before we begin today’s sermon, let us review last week’s lesson. You’ll remember our riveting exegisis on the stresses and strains of working in an office-environment. You will also recall the spasm of horror that flooded your cerebellum when I explained how your place of business could be invaded at any moment by Scary Spice, Mel B, and ex-N’Synch superstar, Joey Fatone, as they work their way across America, terrorizing gentle working folks like thee and me in their attempt to find the winning bunch of co-workers in the new, hit reality show, “The Singing Office.”

If you needed a better stimulus to start working from home, I don’t know what it could be?

Chances are, when it comes to working from home, you don’t need a stimulus package. As Elizabeth Garone describes the dream in “The Wall Street Journal,” you wake up on a work day to “roll out of bed and stumble over to your desk to check your phone and email messages, all the while in your pajamas.”

If the idea of working in your PJs and avoiding completely the daily hub-bub of bumbling bosses and cube mates is appealing to you, congratulations – you’re well on your way to erasing the Puritan work ethic that we’ve been trying to stifle since Day One. On the other hand, if you still question the possibility that the road to success runs from the bedroom to the living room couch where you spend the workday watching reruns of “Flip That House,” you’re not alone.

“It isn’t a an approach destined for success,” WSJ reporter Garone writes before quoting executive coach Clay Parsons of Alternative Futures who observes, “the people who succeed will be the ones who take it very seriously.”

Since the last time we took anything seriously was when they ran out of cruellers at the weekly staff meeting, the bubble bursters do provide tips on how to succeed at working at home. Unfortunately, many of these suggestions actually involve more work than we would face if we actually came into the office, but I have tried to bring a soupcon of common sense to the exercise. Grab your blanky and let’s begin.

1. Prepare yourself psychologically.

To continue with Mr Executive Spoilsport, Clay Parsons, “working from home is a job, not a vacation from responsibility.” As part of your preparation, Parsons suggests you create a “real office” at home and use it only for official work day activities. I agree. Don’t even venture into your “real office” unless you are going to be doing the important tasks, like napping, stealing office supplies, surfing the net, and gossiping.

2. Take yourself – and your job – seriously.

Since you don’t take your job seriously in the office, it’s asking a lot to expect you to take it seriously at home. Perhaps that’s why Parsons believes it is essential that you jettison your jimmies and dress for going to work, even if you furthest you’ll be going is to the bath tub for a nice pre-lunch soak. “How you dress does influence how you feel and how you interact with others,” he says and it’s true. You just won’t be the same person on that conference call when you know that everyone else on the call is wearing their workday best and you’re sitting at the kitchen table, naked as a jaybird.

3. Avoid isolation.

In the workplace, getting a moment to yourself is a rare privilege. When you’re home alone, you may miss the pleasures of being stuffed into a poorly ventilated, disease-ridden, spirit-killing morass of rickety office furniture, shoddy computers and cheap carpeting, exuding more deadly chemicals than a FEMA trailer.

The solution is to “address your social needs” by “meeting a friend for coffee, just as you would with officemates.” If you have no friends, be creative. Invite that hunky mailman in for frank discussion of your marketing plan. Chances are, he’s a lot smarter than your supervisor, and there’s no tiresome HR rules about sexual harassment, even when you’re playing post office.

4. Acknowledge your successes

Clearly reporter Garone has had little workplace experience, because she suggests you’ll miss all the office-wide praise and comraderie you’re never got in the first place. But I do agree you should celebrate. Starting the workday with a 6-pack of Blatz is a great way to acknowledge your accomplishments, even if you accomplish nothing more but going back to bed.