Work Daze

If you ever wonder why your career is in a downward spiral, and no one respects you, and the boss never gives you really diddly raises, and your only perk is being allowed to slowly rot in your cubical 12 hours a day, and your chance of getting a promotion is less than slim and little better than none, I have news for you. I know why.

You aren’t apologizing enough.

That’s right! The more you apologize the more likely you are to be successful – according to a new poll by Zogby International (and with a name like Zogby, you know they have to be good.) The poll was commissioned by an outlet outfit that sells pearls, AKA, the Pearl Outlet, but I’m not suggesting that you pair up your apologies with a nice string of cultured pearls. I’m more a nice string of cultured string type of guy, and believe me, you’d look lovely in twine.

Still, the results of the poll are rather startling. According to a press release released on the findings, people were asked if they would apologize in three different situations: when they felt they were to blame; partly to blame; or blameless. “In all three,” according to the release, “a person’s willingness to apologize was an almost perfect predictor of their place on the pay ladder.” So, 92% of 100K+ earners would apologize when they felt they were completely to blame while apologies came easily to only 72% of the 35-50K folks, and a measly 52% of those earning under a measly 25K or less.

As for the rich and the blameless, the same correlation occurred. 22% of the highest earners would say they’re sorry anyway, while only 13% of the underpaid underclass would cop a plea. That may be taking the apology gambit too far. If you’re going to apologize for something you didn’t do, you might as well do it.

Which is the explanation for the apology phenomena proposed by Terry Shepherd, the president of Pearl Outlet. “Maybe high-earners apologize more because, as someone once said, it’s easier to apologize afterwards than to ask permission beforehand.”

I believe it was John Dillinger who said that, Mr. Shepherd, but the theory has merit. The more chances you take, the more likely you are to be promoted. Or fired. Either way, you’ll be in an excellent position to apologize.

Another theory comes from Marty Nemko, a career counselor, who suggests that high-earners are more secure in their positions, and therefore, believe an apology or three won’t hurt their careers. The trick, of course, is to apologize up. Tell your direct reports that you made a bonehead blunder and there could be a rebellion in the ranks. Tell your boss that you made a mistake and you can spin the boo-boo in a way that takes away the pain.

“You know those thirty thousand Sanjia bobble heads I ordered. Well, Wilson told me to do it. But I do owe you an apology – I apologize for not firing Wilson.”

While the results of the survey are connected to job performance, the actual to-apologize-or-not-to-apologize poll question was asked in relation to one’s “significant other.” I’d hate to think you have an other more significant than your manager, but there are equally interesting implications on the domestic side of the equation.

The study also found that married Americans are twice as likely as the single or divorced to apologize to their significant others after an argument. I’m not sure we needed an international polling company to discover those results. If you’re married, you know married people are always apologizing after arguments. In fact, many times the entire cause of the argument is who should be doing the apologizing. I suppose we need another poll to figure out why this rush to apologize occurs, but I’d guess it has something to do with alimony, child support, and winning control of the remote control.

In conclusion, I do think we owe a debt of thanks to the Pearl Outlet and the Zogby organization for helping us see that the road to success in business and marriage is paved with “I’m sorrys.” And I’m sorry I didn’t get this valuable information to you sooner. Personally, I’m going to apologize to everyone I meet today at work. I’m sure each co-worker knows something I did that I need to apologize for. And I am going to buy that string of cultured pearls for my boss. On him, they’ll look gorgeous.