Work Daze

Hey, congratulations on that big promotion. I always knew you were going to
make it to the top. You’ll be great in your new position, I’m sure, and all
the extra money and perks will make a big difference in your lifestyle.

Wait a minute! You didn’t get the promotion. They gave the big job to
someone else – someone who just happens to be your best friend in the
office. So now your friend is your boss. The person with whom you spent
your days gossiping about your lame management team is now “one of them.”
And guess who’s their direct report – you.

Now that’s a problem. Or is it? According to Peter Handal, the affable
chairman, president and CEO of Dale Carnegie Training, having a friend as
your boss can be a real advantage. All you have to do is find a positive way
to channel your anger, disappointment and jealousy.

Mr. Handler admits that the channeling effort is not likely to be easy.
[Perhaps that’s why he has taken three top positions for himself. As
chairman, president and CEO, it’s likely that the only person to be promoted
over Mr. Handler is Mr. Handler.]

“Promotions can put a strain on personal and profession relationships,”
Handler says. “But with maturity and a positive attitude it is possible to
come out on top.”

I agree. With maturity and a positive attitude anything can look good, even
the need to report to your pal, the bozo whose greatest accomplishment to
date is chugging a six-pack of beer with his boxers on his head.

Still, the situation does demand attention, at least until you can get
another job or post those pictures of your friend dancing on the bar of the
Kit Kat Klub in a silver lame thong on the company web site. Here are some
key concepts from the mature and positive folks at Dale Carnegie:

Communication:

“Having a one-on-one conversation with your new boss is an effective first
step,” according to the Dale dictum. This may not be easy to accomplish,
especially if your ex-friend, new boss reacts negatively to threats of
bodily harm popping up in your effort to “determine your new roles and begin
to feel comfortable in your new situation.” Do try to strike a positive
note, however. I suggest saying something supportive, like “Congratulations,
pal! Your constant toadying and butt-kissing has finally paid off.”

Embrace change:

“Do not expect things to stay the same,” the experts warn. “Your
relationship will be different.” Sad but true. Despite the promises that
your friendship will remain the same, inside the office and out, it is
inevitable that your promoted pal, when he or she starts breathing the
rarified air of Mahogany Row, could demonstrate a change in their
self-image. Don’t be surprised when your new boss starts issuing memos on
parchment, or tries walking on water. You could be offended by the behavior
of your new lord and master, or you could encourage these acts of unfettered
egotism. The higher they fly, the harder they fall.

Lean on a friend:

“You may need an outlet for your emotions,” Handal intuits. “Discuss the
situation with a friend outside the office.” Good advice! Bartenders are
especially sensitive to this kind of emotional pain and the price of a
double Jim Beam with a Dr. Pepper back is a lot less than an hour with a
shrink. Another excellent ear to bend is that of a Mafia hit man. I’m not
recommending you have your new boss capped, but management experts agree,
nothing humbles a new manager than a pair of broken kneecaps.

Take advantage:

“If you can get past your own jealousy,” Carnegie counsels, “you may have
some new political capital at your disposal.” This makes a lot of sense.
Even if you don’t have the useful photos described above, chances are you
have learned some potentially damaging secrets in the course of your
friendship. Be subtle in presenting these bombshells, lest your new boss
misunderstand your positive and admiring support for something else, like
blackmail.

“That new Jaguar would make a great company car for me,” you could whisper
at the staff meeting. “I’m sure if I found an xj-7 convertible in midnight
blue in my parking space tonight I’d completely forget to tell your wife
about the three midgets and the Saint Bernard I found in your hotel room at
the annual convention.”

I’m sure your new boss would make it happen. After all, what are friends
for?