Work Daze

You may not believe that a macho, alpha-male-type person like me would care, but I feel deeply for women who are trying to balance work and family. That’s why this he-man felt like skipping through the daffodils when I found a blog dedicated to the workplace juggler.

The address of the blogsite is WSJ.com/Juggle and its author is Sara Schaefer Muňoz, a Wall Street Journal reporter who understands how difficult it is to screw up your job and your kids, all at the same time.

A cross-section of the online ramblings of Muňoz and her readers appeared recently in the off-line pages of the newspaper, providing new insights for women about women trying to juggle family and career. [I suppose these musings are also relevant to men who are trying to juggle careers and families, but men have so many more balls to keep in the air – the NBA basketball, the NFL football, and the sparkling glitter ball at the Kit Kat Klub to name just a few.]

One problem facing some women is rising salaries. With a well-paying job may not seem like a drawback, a six-figure income makes it difficult to leave the fat checks for the full diapers. Muňoz describes a first-year associate at a large New York law firm who recently received a $15,000 salary boost to $160,000 a year. The lawyer, who was also a Mommy, admitted that the 15K bump seriously influenced her decision to stay at her job.

“While I miss my baby girl, I have to work to keep a roof over her head,” a woman in a similar situation summed up. “Not to mention pay for $15K a year preschool.”

Personally, I don’t think the lawyer has an issue. She should immediately quit her job and then sue her baby for making give up a fat paycheck. As for the woman paying 15K for 3 hours a day in the sandbox, she can achieve the same effect by dropping her kid off at the nearest high-rise building site. The hard hats will make excellent childcare supervisors and the tot will learn all sorts of exciting new words – a real advantage if the child decides on a career in construction or politics.

Another agony for the working mother is the issue of at-home child care. While Mommy is off having power-lunches in the corporate jet, baby is at home with the Nanny. If the Nanny spends her time laying on the sofa, swigging martinis, and neglects to teach the child the proper balance of gin and vermouth, the mother has a problem. But if the Nanny is Mary Poppins perfect, the careerist is equally worried.

“Every time I read your blog it makes me glad that my wife wanted to stay home,” writes a male reader. “Compared to guilt that my child might bond with a nanny, I’ll take another year driving my 1994 Toyota.”

This fear of losing the love of a child is unique to new parents. By the time your child is a teen-ager, you will wish they would bond with someone else, preferably a recruiter for the French Foreign Legion. What is left unsaid in the Juggle is the lure of the jiggle -- take it from Robin Williams and Jude Law, both of whom left significant others for insignificant others – their children’s nannies.

[I don’t know what is so attractive about the nanny to the old nanny goat, but I suspect it has less to do with the fact that the nanny is young and beautiful, and more to do with the fact that she is handy. While Mommy is on the fast track, closing deals, nanny is in the laundry room, folding diapers. And what is the lure of Chanel #5 when compared with the fatal attraction of baby powder.]

Some women decide early-on that being a stay-at-home Mom is not their forte. Like Citigroup, Inc. chairman, Sallie Krawcheck, who declared herself “really bad at it.” For Ms. Krawcheck, playing Peek-A-Boo is a snore. Lending billions to Pongo-Pongo she can do in her sleep. Other women worry about whether it is right or wrong to let their children watch television during their precious quality time together.

One anti-TV Mom brags that her child can “spend minutes on end watching a ladybug.” I wish someone would tell my boss that this is a worthy achievement. Every time I do it, I got fired.