Work Daze

If there’s room on your list for just one more New Year’s resolution, let me make this suggestion. In 2007, you will, at long last, get your dream job – the intellectually rewarding, totally secure, and ridiculously well paying position you have long desired and deserved.

Of course, there will be a price you will have to pay for checking off this resolution as a “mission accomplished.” If you want the job that is perfect for you, you will have to completely change who you are.

The reason is obvious, ain’t it? Unless you can find a job as a mattress tester in a chocolate factory, no boss could possibly equal what your current boss is providing – a desk, a paycheck, and someplace to go Monday through Friday. I mean, the economy is good, but it’s not that good.

Fortunately, you will not have to transition yourself all by yourself. Martin Yate, C.P.C., has authored a new tome for the times, “Knock ‘em Dead, 2007: The Ultimate Job Search Guide.” [I don’t know exactly what professional honor is rewarded with the C.P.C. designation. I looked it up, and can only find Climate Prediction Center, but heck, if Yate can predict the weather, I see no reason why he can’t look into your future and find the blue skies of career success.]

According to Yate, achieving your dream job requires a new mindset for the New Year. “You have to be connected and have strategies in place,” he informs us before listing the three essentials for success: “Plans of attack, plans for defense and plans for growth.”

Apparently our plan to survive another year without being noticed will not be sufficient.

Should you care to Knock ‘em Dead in 2007, you can purchase Mr. Yate’s book, or visit his website, www.knockemdead.com, or you can read my commentary on his commentary. Or you can simply knock yourself in the head with a baseball bat. Trust me, it will be a lot more pleasant.

1. Create a professional online identity.

This is the Internet Age, Mr. Yate reminds us, and according to a Harris Poll, 23% of professionals Google people before meeting them – or, we can assume, interviewing them. Yate suggests that you provide the digital looky-loos with appropriate search material. Remember that on the Internet no one checks facts, so you can easily set up a web site called HowIWonTheNobelPeacePrize.com, or start writing to a chat room endless communiqués, titled “Why won’t Angelina Jolie leave me alone.” Once the search engines finish searching your name, you’ll be a prize hire.

2. Dress for the (internal) job you want.

It could be that your dream job for 2007 is in the company for whom you already work. This raises the an interesting question – should you break the company’s casual dress code and spruce up for an internal interview. Yate says it’s OK to pass on the tuxedo, but do “make more effort than you would for a normal day at work.” For many of us, this means changing out of our pajamas before we leave for the office, but for the rest of you, Yate suggests that making a fashion statement will “give you private time to prepare for the challenges ahead, like a solider cleaning his weapons before the battle.”

Terrific idea, but he doesn’t take it far enough. Why not dress like a soldier? Show up at your interview in full combat gear, including camouflage clothes and a double bullet belt criss-crossing your chest. Add a sword and a gas mask and trust me; no one is going to turn you down.

3. Know your strengths and weaknesses.

“You need self-awareness for survival in today’s business world,” counsels Yate, who suggests you list the skills needed for success and then do an inventory of your own abilities, thus producing a useful inventory of your strengths and weaknesses on which to “launch yourself towards your career goals.” And you can certainly do all this; it definitely won’t take much time, especially in the “career strengths” area. But adding up all your weaknesses will occupy you full-time until at least September of 2007, which won’t leave much room for job hunting, especially considering the long-winter days are traditionally the time you spend hibernating.

May I suggest you just stumble on with your so-called career? If a great job comes along, it will find you, curled up under your desk and sleeping peacefully. If not, well, there’s always 2008.