Work Daze

Used to be the best way to clear a room was to shout “FIRE!” But now the world has changed. Now, if you want to clear a room, all you have to do is whisper, “Here’s my PowerPoint presentation.”

I don’t know how or when or why PowerPoint came to play such a large part of our work days. Apparently, there was some great unfilled need to have the words we don’t want to hear backed up by images we don’t want to see. And not just words. When prepared by a PowerPoint expert, the weird words and idiotic ideas of the presenter can twist and twirl and flip and build boldly with graphs and charts and all kinds of graphics nonsense.

The bottom line is that anyone who can click a mouse can have their innermost thoughts blown up to CinemaScope size and plastered across the conference room wall. With PowerPoint, we are all the Tom Cruise of our offices, only not as good looking and much more wacky.

Whatever advances in clarity that PowerPoint has delivered, there is a more negative side to the phenomena. Once a PowerPoint makes a presentation the center of attention, what happens to the presenter when they totally blow it.

We all know the feeling: you are standing in the front of the room with the PowerPoint at your back while in front of you sit a dozen or a gross of bland, blank faces. It is immediately obvious that if a small percentage got the point of your PowerPoint, they want to stab you through the heart with it.

The fallout from such a fumble is the subject of a recent “Career Couch” column in The New York Times. The author, Matt Villano, apparently ran all around the country to ask assorted management consultant types how to recover from such a public disgrace. Apparently, my line was busy when he called, because I was not able to add my two cents to the discussion…not until now.

• Take responsibility

This is the advice from Roger R. Pearman of Leadership Performance Systems who opines that “failure to acknowledge that you goofed gets translated into arrogance and insensitivity.” What Mr. Pearnman fails to acknowledge is that arrogance and insensitivity usually gets translated into “leadership ability.”

Even if your arrogance does not get you promoted, there’s absolutely no reason to accept blame, not when there are so many available candidates on whom to put the stench of failure. Like the coworker whose constant need for your assistance in doing her job distracted you. Or the expert from the IT department expert who suggested using images of topless dancers.

These folks will be delighted you thought of them, and appreciate your generosity in sharing.

• Be prepared

According to the so-called experts the author called, the worst blunder a presenter can make is to appear unprepared. “Many people think they can wing it,” says Karla Robertson of Shifting Gears, “but when it comes to a presentation, you have to do your homework.”

I don’t see why. You didn’t do your homework in school; there’s no reason to start now. Instead of spending endless hours building your presentation, learn a few simple ways to deflect anyone even noticing that for you spent all your prep time holding down a bar stool at the Kit Kat Klub.

“I want to make this an interactive presentation,” is one very good way to lay the groundwork for the fact that you didn’t do your home work. “Please feel free to interrupt me with questions any time.”

With any luck, your co-workers will be so anxious to show off their brilliance they will pepper you with questions. And being so darn “interactive,” you can pass these questions to other attendees for their inspired points of view. Play it right and there will be so much meaningless chatter going on you’ll be able to leave the room and return to your power perch at the Kit Kat.

• To apologize or not to apologize

Larina Kase, the president of Performance and Success Coaching, says that you want to avoid apologizing as it can “come off as groveling.” Once again I must disagree. Not only is groveling one of the attributes managers look for in an employee, but the fact that you consistently fumble, screw-up and blunder will make you irresistable when promotion time comes along.

After all, who do your bosses want more than someone so incompetent it makes them look good.